From the perspective of S. Denise Kullman, Mom
I’m a mom. It’s my job and I truly love it. With Mother’s Day coming up, I find myself contemplating this job of mine. I’m training these little people to go into the world one day—that’s pretty overwhelming.
Learning as a New Mom
When my first child was born, I had never even held a baby before. I never thought I’d have more than one or two children. Since then, we’ve adopted three more kids. I’m in awe of the sacrifice each of their birth mothers gave and am filled with gratitude to them.
Still Learning as a Seasoned Mom
By the time we had four kids, I thought there couldn’t possibly be much more to learn. Boy, was I wrong. I continue to attend classes and read books and articles constantly to pick up new parenting techniques and information.
One of the parenting techniques we practice in our home is Love & Logic. We have three teenagers in the house (so we can use all the help we can get). We do our best. But here’s the bottom line—they are going to grow up one day and we don’t know how they’ll turn out.
Our oldest child was rebellious from seventh grade and on. She pushed the boundaries with alcohol, drugs, promiscuity—you name it. Her record of wrecked cars could be in Guinness. We didn’t know if she would even graduate high school. Today, she has her MFA and is a professor at the University of Georgia. Amazing! She keeps my hopes up for all kids.
Life with my 13-year-old son with attachment and bipolar disorders is also quite a ride. Tyler’s been home over five weeks now from the IACD family treatment home. Most of our days are great. But that 20% … whew! He can really push the boundaries. He’s mad at me right now because his inappropriate behavior caused him to lose some privileges.
I try to remain calm, empathetic, and as unemotional as I can. That’s hard for this southern gal. Emotion is in my blood. Some days, I have to really focus on his best qualities, his strengths, and still accept all that he is. And I’m very proud of all that he is. He’s a pretty cool kid and I’m his proud mama-even with that 20 %…
Parenthood is like the big kahuna of roller coaster rides. Up, down, lots of spins and turns, and sometimes you’re hanging upside down. Educate yourself, take advantage of resources, and ask for help. You’re not alone! At the end of the ride, you’ll look back, smile, and breathe. You made it.
Happy Mother’s Day!
p.s.—Check out the book What A Difference A Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son’s Life by Dr. Kevin Leman. I loved it.
How’s motherhood for you these days? Share your reflections below. I’d love to hear from you and chat.