From the perspective of Dyan Roosma, Treatment Mom
“I will not let school work come between me and my relationship with my child. I will not let school work come between me and my relationship with my child.”
Some days, I have to repeat this mantra over and over in my head until I actually believe it’s possible. It’s hard to find a balance with so much pressure for kids to succeed in school.
How do we find a balance with school and (all of) our kids?
We create a relationship with our school that puts our kids in a win-win situation—no matter their behavior, academic success or, let’s face it, failure.
Now, this has not been an easy task.
In fact, it has taken years to develop. We also have the advantage of other parents and therapists who have gone before us to pave the way. And we live in an amazing school district. The administrators and teachers listen to and understand us.
Here’s the secret: One of the reasons the schoolteachers and administrators care is because we care about them and their struggles with our kids.
How we show the school staff we care:
- We don’t fight our schools.
- We listen to and try their ideas (unless it will be harmful to our kids). If their ideas can do harm, we refer them to our therapist for backup on that issue.
- We don’t hold our school responsible when our children fail. We ask them to give us the same courtesy.
- We aren’t afraid to let our kids fail. That’s the tough one. It goes against the natural desires of parents and teachers to see their kids soar.
It comes down to this…we support the school. They trust us to pick our child up if he is having a bad day. They appreciate that we call them to give a “heads up” if the morning was particularly rough.
Here’s what the school staff give us in return:
- They keep us informed.
- They work hard to talk our kids through rough patches.
- The lines of communication stay open and friendly. Our children can’t split the team we have created.
- They give our kids a chance to get healthier in this positive environment.
It’s a teacher’s job to educate. It’s our job to support them. We give them information about their students so they can make good educational decisions and to support all behavior plans. It is our children’s jobs to take every opportunity to further their own education. After all, I already graduated from college, I don’t have to repeat 6th grade math!
Share this great resource from the Center for Family Development with your teachers:
Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net